


what we are allowed (it's everything)

by bibliomaniac



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, M/M, and yes this fully deserves the explicit rating, here we are anyway, if you have been following my fics for a while you might find that astonishing but. lol hey, this is schmoopy as hell, yes you read that properly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 23:23:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13798515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliomaniac/pseuds/bibliomaniac
Summary: Kravitz doesn't know how to express how much he loves Taako--not because he's scared to do it, but because it's a feeling that goes beyond words. Taako knows what to say anyway.





	what we are allowed (it's everything)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [malevolentmango](https://archiveofourown.org/users/malevolentmango/gifts).



> written for the phenomenal mango, who is an excellent writer and a wonderful person! i wrote this really late at night and it was fully intended to be short.
> 
> it is not.

Kravitz gets the impression sometimes that Taako doesn’t fully understand how much Kravitz loves him.

Like--don’t get him wrong, they’ve come a  _ long  _ way in that area, and at this point he doesn’t even think it’s on Taako’s end anymore. It’s not that Taako still feels insecure about Kravitz’s feelings. If he did, he wouldn’t drop kisses in passing on Kravitz’s head when he comes down in the morning to make breakfast while Kravitz does a puzzle at the kitchen table. He wouldn’t smile when Kravitz gets up, looping his arms around Taako from behind, rubbing his thumbs in slow circles along Taako’s hip, resting his chin on Taako’s shoulder. He wouldn’t turn around in Kravitz’s grasp and grin, something slow and sleepy and unbearably fond, as he kisses Kravitz properly, tasting of cinnamon toothpaste and the chocolate chips he snuck from the bag before he put them in the pancake batter. He wouldn’t do any of that, which Kravitz knows, because when they first started out, Taako was still navigating his way around that kind of casual intimacy, still uncertain of what Kravitz would allow.

Kravitz would never deny Taako  _ anything. _

Which is sort of the point. Kravitz would give anything to Taako,  _ anything _ at all, anything he asked for and everything he didn’t ask for but needed anyway, too. He loves Taako to a depth he really hadn’t previously known was possible, something bone-deep and all-encompassing, something that rises from deep within him and fills every crevice of his being until even his fingertips are tingling with it, with the need to wrap Taako in his arms and never let go.

And it’s--he can manage it. He’s far, far too old to not have the ability to clamp down on his feelings when he needs to, when they’ve had their chocolate chip pancakes and Taako has kissed him again and Kravitz  _ really  _ needs to get going. It takes maybe longer than it should, but he does it, he drops Taako’s hand and goes through the portal and he doesn’t go home until the evening, like a responsible employee. Most of the time. He doesn’t even get out his stone of far speech to tell Taako how much he loves him after a couple of hours have passed and the feeling burns in his fingertips again. ...Most of the time. Most of the time, he manages, and it’s all right because at the end of the day he gets Taako in his arms again.

But sometimes,  _ sometimes,  _ that feeling overflows, and it’s then that he thinks Taako might not understand how much Kravitz loves him, not because of Taako but because it vibrates in him with an intensity that Kravitz doesn’t think can be expressed fully in words.

It starts like this, tonight: Kravitz comes home to find Taako sprawled out on their bed, a line of drool that he will certainly deny when he’s awake running down his chin, still fully clothed in a way that probably indicates he was waiting for Kravitz to get home. The feeling swells, swells, and it’s with fire in his fingertips that he sits down next to Taako and kisses his forehead.

“What,” Taako says as he wakes with a start, voice low and grumpy and adorable, “I’m awake.”

“Mmhmm,” Kravitz hums, the burning subsiding slightly as he runs his hands through Taako’s hair. “I know you are, sweetheart. I’m sorry I’m so late. There’s been a resurgence of that cult again lately, you know the one.”

Taako yawns, stretches. His hand claps to his mouth as it opens wide, like he considers it unacceptable that people see him yawn. He finds the line of drool and makes a face, flashing a quick, suspicious  _ did-you-see-that-and-not-tell-me  _ look at Kravitz, who flashes his best  _ of-course-not-darling-your-face-is-always-flawless-and-drool-free-to-me  _ look back. “The ones worshipping my brother-in-law?”

“The very same. He’s a bit peeved about it.”

Taako snorts, raising both eyebrows at Kravitz. “Oh,  _ sure.  _ We’ve been over this. He probably thinks it’s awkward they’re doing all this in his name, and he’d want to make sure they’re not doing anything dangerous, but there is  _ no  _ fuckin’ way he wouldn’t start a necromancy summer camp or like--some sort of mentorship shit--if he could.”

“Mm. He would provide them all with personal monogrammed jeans.”

Taako’s eyes light up, like they do whenever Kravitz goes along with his tangents. He tries to do so often. “Oh my gods, a legion full of mini-Barrys. Just these--fuckin’ tykes in their own miniature bluejeans, concentrating hard and making a bunch of skeletons dab.”

Kravitz smiles softly at him, probably a bit more fond than the comment warrants. “I’d like to see it.” He pauses, then puts on a fake serious face. “I mean--not  _ actually,  _ because then I’d probably have to arrest him and an entire summer camp full of kids--”

Taako laughs, sagging against him, nestling into his shoulder. Also probably more of a reaction than the comment warrants, really. “Oh, come on, you wouldn’t.”

“I mean,” Kravitz tilts his head, pretending like he’s considering. “I could probably be  _ convinced _ to lighten their sentence--and Barry does have a brother-in-law who’s very  _ convincing--” _

“Oh my gods, you are  _ not _ propositioning me like this. Nope. Nuh-uh. Pulling a hard stop here, hombre.”

“I can think of other ways to proposition you,” Kravitz murmurs, and kisses him to prove it. It starts out slow, Taako’s lips still sleep-warm and languid, but it deepens when Taako almost reflexively presses into him, swings a leg over to climb onto his lap.

“They’ll have to be  _ very  _ good,” Taako purrs, settling himself and gazing down at him with eyes lidded with burgeoning arousal instead of sleepiness. “I was waiting for a long time, you know.”

Kravitz would’ve winced at this once, launched into apologies, but he knows that it’s part of the routine, now. “Oh? I’ll do my best to make up for that, then.” He kisses the faux-offended look on Taako’s face away--Taako doesn’t like anything less than a full guarantee--and then keeps kissing him, deep, searching things that make the feeling in him start to bubble again. It’s intoxicating, the combination of the tingling almost-too-much love for Taako and the arousal starting to pool in his abdomen from the way Taako sighs into the kiss, relaxes underneath Kravitz’s hands stealing up his shirt.

“Okay,  _ fine,”  _ Taako says, like he’s just now been convinced. “You’re allowed to ravish me now.” He dramatically flings himself back on the bed. “Go for it, handsome stranger.”

“I think we’re mixing our roleplay scenarios up a bit here,” Kravitz comments teasingly, grinning when Taako lifts his head to glare at him. “Am I a handsome stranger or the reaper you don’t want to put your brother-in-law in jail or--”

“You’re about to be a dude who jacks off in the bathroom if you don’t get down here soon,” Taako grumbles, beckoning, and Kravitz comes, like he always does, still grinning. He straddles Taako, bends down to kiss him again, mostly because he can, then starts stripping. Shirt, simple enough, that can go on the floor no problem, but the pants result in him needing to get off Taako so that he doesn’t knee him in the abdomen or something, and then he decides he might as well de-pant Taako in the process, and it’s kind of messy and fumbling for all they’ve done it hundreds of times. Taako is mostly just watching the whole thing, almost amused.

“You could help,” Kravitz suggests, frowning at the zipper on Taako’s skirt that always gets a bit stuck. “Like--you could assist--”

“Hey, I’m just the proposition-ee here,” Taako says, smirk spreading across his face. “Doesn’t that mean the--the, uh, burden of proof is off me, or whatever?”

“Don’t think that’s what that means,” Kravitz murmurs distractedly, making a little happy noise when he finally gets the zipper to move. 

“Don’t think it really matters,” Taako says lazily, and the smirk widens when Kravitz wrestles the skirt off only to find one of his favorite pairs of lingerie--the deep red and black one with the straps, the one that doesn’t even pretend to fully contain Taako’s cock.

“Oh, gods,” Kravitz says, a bit breathless as he reaches down to thumb at the prominent wet spot visible through the fabric, less conscious decision and more automatic reaction. “You--did I--”

“No reason,” Taako says, casually reassuring even as his breath hitches. He knows Kravitz worries about forgetting dates. Not really a rational thing, he keeps a  _ very  _ detailed calendar, but Kravitz isn’t always rational. “Like I said, I was waiting a long time, is all.”

“Are you trying to get me home earlier or not?” Kravitz breathes, swallowing Taako’s ‘hey, I didn’t mean--’ by ducking to mouth over Taako’s cock in his panties.

Taako makes a small, broken little noise, and Kravitz flicks his eyes up, wanting to see whether there’s already a flush rising high on his cheeks. He thinks that’s a contender for one of the loveliest things he’s ever seen. Well, in combination with literally everything else about Taako. The corners of his mouth lift when he sees pink starting to spot at his cheekbones. Good.

“Stop smirking down there, you dick,” Taako’s voice comes, a little bit strained already. “Do something, or I’ll--” He moans involuntarily, hips lifting off the bed, when Kravitz noses at where the head of Taako’s cock is peeking out of the panties, then, almost like an afterthought, kisses it. “ _ Gods,  _ you’re a  _ dick.” _

“You said that already,” Kravitz says, low, definitely smirking now, moving his lips down to Taako’s thigh to nip at it. “I don’t think you believe it, though.”

“Don’t test me,” Taako says, but his voice is a bit too strangled for it to read as serious. “Come on, Krav, come on, please--”

Kravitz stops sucking at the spot on Taako’s inner thigh, climbing up to kiss Taako again (because, again, he  _ can,  _ as many times as he  _ wants,  _ he’ll never get over that) and lifting Taako’s arms up so that he can remove his shirt. Taako looks adorably grumpy and rumpled when he’s through kissing him, nose wrinkled in a pout that is really less effective at making him look angry than he probably thinks it is. Kravitz pauses, about to kiss his way down Taako’s neck, but-- “Taako, are you okay with things being slow tonight? I really want to take the time to appreciate you, but--I know you were waiting a long time, like you said. If you want me to just--”

“Yo, it’s fine, just--get the fuck on with it,” Taako says, and the splotches of pink on his cheeks are starting to look a bit more embarrassed-red. “You don’t have to  _ ask.” _

“No, I do,” Kravitz says, hiding his relief by dragging his teeth against Taako’s jugular. The nights where it’s hard and fast and rough, those are wonderful, but--he has to admit a particular fondness for nights where Taako lets him savor everything at his own pace. Another bite at the place where Taako’s neck meets his shoulder, and Taako whines breathily. “Gods, you’re so perfect,” Kravitz says, voice hushed and reverent. “I don’t have the words to express how grateful I am that the universe brought you to me.” He punctuates it by bringing careful fingers to the shell of Taako’s ears, stroking, then pinching at the ends.

“Krav,” Taako keens, “Krav, it’s--”

“Does it feel good?” Almost thoughtfully, he lowers his mouth to the tip of Taako’s ear and sucks on it. Taako cries out, arching off the bed.

“ _ Fuck,  _ Kravitz,  _ please. _ ”

“Gods, just.” The feeling is overflowing, now, and he has to duck his head into Taako’s shoulder and take a deep breath to contain himself from just blurting out,  _ I love you, I love you,  _ and never stopping. “When you think about how many factors there were, how many places there were that things could’ve gone different--” He interrupts himself temporarily to lick at Taako’s nipple, taking the other one in hand. “It’s astonishing we--have each other. That we can be together like this.” He’s completely dizzy with how much he loves Taako, with how it builds in him without any real outlet for it, and he kisses a bit whimsically down Taako’s chest until he reaches where his cock is leaking pre-come at the tip. 

“Please,  _ please,”  _ Taako begs, shifting his hips up in jerky aborted motions. “Please,  _ fuck,  _ you--”

“You’re so responsive today,” Kravitz breathes, awed--not a condemnation, not at  _ all,  _ it’s  _ amazing.  _ “Were you touching yourself while you were waiting? Were you--did you come?”

“No, no, waited for you--for--some fucking reason--” Taako gasps when Kravitz pulls the underwear down to his thighs. “Thought you might actually fuck me sometime in the next century--”

“We’ll get there,” Kravitz says, feigning calm, but he knows Taako could call him on his bullshit  _ so  _ easily. He’s achingly hard himself. 

“But I did--uh--” Taako fumbles around for Kravitz’s hand, pulls it behind to the curve of his ass, then lower as he spreads himself, guiding Kravitz’s hand almost frantically to where Kravitz can feel lube, a slightly tacky from being there for what Kravitz presumes was at least a half hour. He drags his finger through it, pad of his finger catching on the rim, and Taako throws his head back, moaning again, thin and reedy.

“Gods, I--” Kravitz’s breath catches in his throat. “I--”

“I know, you love me, so  _ please, please  _ fuck me already!”

And Kravitz can’t even give himself time to think about how Taako has predicted his thoughts so perfectly, because Kravitz would never deny Taako anything, and that  _ absolutely _ includes fucking him brainless if that’s what he wants.

With little preamble, Kravitz licks a long stripe up Taako’s cock, and Taako chokes out a long, drawn-out groan, the muscles in his abdomen tensing as one. Kravitz fumbles for the lube--Taako had gotten it out at some point, bless him, or maybe had it nearby the whole time--and pours more onto his hand, then pushes his index finger past the ring of muscle.

“Gods, Kravitz,” Taako says, voice high-pitched and breathy and wonderful. “Please, come on, I didn’t stretch myself for, like--I don’t know how many fuckin’ minutes--for you to just--” He cuts off with a loud moan as Kravitz takes his cock into his mouth and nigh-simultaneously adds another finger.

“Fuck, fuck,” Taako chants, strangled, hips lifting into Kravitz’s mouth, then pushing back against the fingers in him, almost indecisive. “Fucking  _ fuck _ , Kravitz,  _ please,  _ I need--just a little bit-- _ oh,”  _ and his mouth drops open into a soundless gasp as Kravitz draws back to suck on the head of his cock while also stroking against his prostate. 

“Come on, sweetheart,” Kravitz says when he’s pulled off for a moment, quiet, private, just between them. “You can do it, I know it, for me, right? You waited so long, you were so good, and-- _ fuck, Taako, you’re so-- _ come for me,  _ please,  _ I need to see it, need to see you--” He swipes his tongue over the head again, relentlessly massaging Taako’s prostate, and he still doesn’t understand what he did to deserve the sight of Taako tensing, back arching almost painfully off the bed, come spurting from his cock, mouth opening and closing in something silent and primal, but--he is so,  _ so  _ glad,  _ so  _ grateful he’s the one who sees it.

“Good job,” he murmurs, withdrawing his fingers, using his other hand to stroke Taako through his orgasm fully, and even through the haze of pleasure, Taako snorts.

“Good job, he says,” Taako mumbles, shaking his head. “You didn’t--yeah? Do you want to--”

“Uh, just--hands, I think, I’m really close--” He’s biting his lip with the effort of not thrusting up against Taako’s thigh, strong and streaked with come and  _ right there _ .

“Okay. Okay, yeah. Uh, hang on.” Taako exhales shakily, closing his eyes for a moment, then beckons again. “Come here so I can touch you. I’m not moving for the next two years at  _ least. _ ”

Kravitz chuckles breathily and moves towards Taako’s waiting hand. Taako grips him firmly, uses his other hand to guide Kravitz’s hand to circle around his cock too, and then he’s fucking both their fists, clenching his teeth and ducking his head towards his chest, gods,  _ gods,  _ he loves Taako, he  _ loves him-- _

With a muted cry, he comes into Taako’s fist, hips thrusting uselessly a few more times before he exhales heavily and rolls over onto his back. He needs to catch his breath, stop his head from buzzing, and he’s not going to risk crushing Taako even if it does mean he’s not as close as he’d like to be right now. He will, however, take Taako’s hand.

“Fucking gross,” Taako says, affronted, and Kravitz laughs quietly. “It’s not anywhere near as romantic as you probably think it is to do a, like, post-sex jizz handshake.”

Kravitz raises their linked hands to his lips, presses a kiss to Taako’s fingers, and Taako rolls over onto his side, staring at him in horror. Maybe genuine, maybe feigned, maybe just exaggerated. “ _ Gross!”  _ he says, nose wrinkling again. “You don’t know where that thing’s been.”

Kravitz wiggles his eyebrows lasciviously, hoping that communicates the ‘oh yes I do’ well enough while he’s still getting back the power of speech, and Taako snorts despite himself, a quick, involuntary flash of a smile appearing on his face before it’s gone. “Okay, uh, well. That’s fair. Still--still gross, though, and really sappy, but in, like--a terrible way. Just really fuckin’ nasty.”

“Maybe,” Kravitz says, a smile of his own ghosting across his face. “I’ll get a washcloth, hang on.” He stumbles a bit when he gets up, and Taako laughs, and Kravitz gets the warm water running and on a washcloth as fast as he can, because it’s really not fair that he has to be away from that laugh for anything longer than a few seconds right now.

It’s when they’re all cleaned off, when Kravitz has Taako curled up against his chest, when his arms are wrapped firmly around him, that the feeling starts to get unbearable again. He presses his lips against the jut of Taako’s shoulder, and he thinks helplessly,  _ I can’t get any closer to him than this, I can’t--I can’t express how I feel about him any more than I already do. What do I--how do I-- _

“Hey, Kravitz?”

He blinks. “Yes?”

“I love you. You know that, right?” Taako doesn’t turn to face him, doesn’t really move much at all. In fact, he sounds sort of like he’s falling asleep. “You don’t need to, uh, think too much past that, my man. I know how your brain gets, but, like--I love you, and I know you love me. That’s enough just on its own.”

And the tingling stops, replaced with warmth and a joyous song ringing through his body, and he smiles into Taako’s shoulder. He really should know to give Taako more credit. He has a way of surprising him every time. 

“Yeah,” he murmurs, and he kisses Taako’s shoulder again, and he is allowed to do that, and he is allowed to be in love. “Yeah, you’re right.”

**Author's Note:**

> tyty for reading, as always! if you wanna do taz yells with me please drop by [anuninterestingperson](http://anuninterestingperson.tumblr.com)


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